The more viable your other options are, the more likely you are to find the courage to choose them, I think. And yes, confidence in your own abilities does factor in here, but so does sheer level of desperation.
This post was very well written, and you raise a good point. I agree that courage can develop. From my experiences at McDonough #15, I could see how a group of weak hippy kids transformed into tough scrappers, or at least hard nosed survivors. Some couldn't make the transition, but many if not most did. Certainly not all of these were naturally
Ultimately I think that the two arguments, nature versus nurture if you will, are both true to an extent. Some people ARE born cowards and some people are born ferociously corageous. But most are somewhere inbetween and can adapt to different types of environments.
I would also add to your thoughts though that as your range of viable options becomes broader, the potential to misjudge can become greater. Especially because it can be a fine line between reacting appropriately and overreacting or underreacting.
For example, in this pride versus bride scenario, if you are walking down the street and someome makes a remark to your spouse which is borderline threatening and certainly inappropriate, you have to make a decision between reacting with an aggressive posture, which may quell the situation instantly, or by ignoring the comment which might be the safest route, or on the other hand might invite further aggression. Either approach, or some middle ground, could be the wrong decision or the right one, depending on the cirucumstances.
This is a judgement call I have personally had to make several times, and it is something which depends on a variety of sometimes subtle factors. Are we close to my own home or in some strange area. Am I armed or not, and do they appear to be armed or not. Are we in an isolated area or near witnesses and traffic. What time of the day or night is it? Can the person or pepole I am with react appropriately to a dangerous situation. Does the antagonist in question seem bent on further escalation or not?
The point is, I think the more options you feel like you have, from previous experiences and from training, I believe the more likely you can be to make an aggressive decision, partially because you have the option, and partialy because you may know from experience that the more aggressive response may be the best option. It can depend on so many factors. My experiences here in New Orleans have led me to believe that a more aggressive response is often more appropriate here where crime is more economically oriented, while in LA, where there are territorial gangs, the opposite was true.
JR