Nurturing Female Aggression

[s_taillebois]

Much of it as noted, is a culturally set norm. For most of the US, physical aggression is considered inappropriate. (even controlled and appropriate aggression) And it's a condition not limited to women. However there are places, where women need to develop this traits, and clearly do so.
Concerning training women, as M. Clement's noted, basic technique will tend to provide confidence.
Other means that I found worked well when teaching SD classes (not RMA, and a while back) to women; is gradually escalating the aggressive aspects; and often finding an aggressive word (even if in a second language) that they can use as a motivator. And to provide a 'cool down' between sessions. Women who aren't culturally aggressive do need time to adjust, as these things can be psychologically wearing.
That said, some of the women I knew in the barrio, or here on the reservation, would need little more than some technique, and a reason....and good lord help the adversary.

[Denise Smith]

I think women focus more on the technique and we tend to not get aggressive until we're a bit more comfortable with what we're trying to execute. I notice that men do the opposite; they'll go in charging first & worry about skill later.

I agree!
I find that my own desire to learn technique keeps me focused on drills and the "how-to" where my son ( age 16)and his friends all want to get out and spar and learn while doing. They seem to have more aggression and less fears. They all frequently 'spar-fight'using many methods, from wrestling, karate, and other free-forms to practice swords. They test their strength and speed much like young bucks (or males of many species) sparring and play fighting.
Women don't have these opportunities growing up. At 41 it isn't always easy, but mentally putting myself in the role helps me with the aggression issue. I still lack the strength and speed and must focus my learning on technique in order to compensate for the lack of physical stamina and flexibility.

I'm still very new to ARMA and to Western Martial Arts but have loved it for many years as a spectator and found that fencing was my favorite class in collage. I was blessed to have Wladimiro Calarese as my instructor. He always thought it wonderful to teach women the art.

[ElizabethPangerl]

We all have different opportunities growing up. I got into and won my share of fistfights as a little kid, but by age ten or so I knew I would encounter rather severe parental discipline if I didn't act like more demurely on the surface. I was afraid of being in fights not because of any opponent, but of my mother's reaction afterward - even if I won.

I'm in my late twenties and my mother isn't aware of my involvement in ARMA. She thinks my husband and I go to history conventions (partially true) on our anniversaries and that the three wasters in our kitchen are all his.

I do wish I hadn't supressed my aggression for as long as I have. It feels awfully good to be nurturing it again. Strength and reticence are issues, but flexibility is not. My mother pulled me away from fistfights and put me into dance classes.

[S. Hord]

We all have different opportunities growing up. I got into and won my share of fistfights as a little kid, but by age ten or so I knew I would encounter rather severe parental discipline if I didn't act like more demurely on the surface. I was afraid of being in fights not because of any opponent, but of my mother's reaction afterward - even if I won.

I'm in my late twenties and my mother isn't aware of my involvement in ARMA. She thinks my husband and I go to history conventions (partially true) on our anniversaries and that the three wasters in our kitchen are all his.

I do wish I hadn't supressed my aggression for as long as I have. It feels awfully good to be nurturing it again. Strength and reticence are issues, but flexibility is not. My mother pulled me away from fistfights and put me into dance classes.

Oh the horror! hehe

My family is very old school so I went to etiquette classes and I’ve always been very feminine but I’m not a typical girl I suppose. My mother never told me not to fight though. She used to get picked on as a child so she would tell me to defend myself to the bitter end. However she was never very amused at my affinity to "boy sports" as she put it. I would cringe when she’d say "Why don't you go play with the other girls"?

I think parents who keep their daughters from learning to fight and or play with the boys are doing them a great disservice. It not only impacts the development of girls but also that of boys too. In that atmosphere girls learn self confidence, to defend themselves, and how to work in teams (which I think boys are much better at because they grow up doing team related sports most of the time). Boys learn that girls are not that much different than them and they're better able to deal with them socially & professionally later in life.

I vividly remember playing combat paintball with the boys, working in teams you learn a lot about each other. It’s amusing though how to a certain extent social conditioning (and maybe natural instinct) can take over. For instance if one of them got hurt I’d be the first to attend to the gushing of the blood & everyone else would be standing around waiting to get on with it but if I got hurt they thought they were going to be in trouble (never mind that I never made a big deal of it) and it would take me some time to assure them I was fine & lets get on with it. But I’m diving into psychology here.

[Randall Pleasant]

I think parents who keep their daughters from learning to fight and or play with the boys are doing them a great disservice. It not only impacts the development of girls but also that of boys too.

Sunday

I fully agree. We let our daughter play with whoever she wanted to play with and, within reason, we let her fight her own fights. Of course we teach her that fighting is not a socially good way to solve personal issues but we never tell her that she can't defend herself. At age thirdteen she is just as happy to play football in the mud as she is to go shopping at the mall. But more importantly, she has the will to stand up for herself and the a good sense of when to make a stand and when not to make a stand, be it in regard to other kids, teachers, her parents, etc. Treating her as an equal is not optional amoung her friends regardless of gender.

By the way, I love your name. My daughter's name is Shileah Augustina Elisabeth Pleasant. Her name was originally longer but her mother, who didn't even have a middle name, made me cut it down to a "manageable" size. I am sure some of my female ancestors will refuse to speak to me in the after-life for my lack of respect.

[S. Hord]

I think parents who keep their daughters from learning to fight and or play with the boys are doing them a great disservice. It not only impacts the development of girls but also that of boys too.

Sunday

I fully agree. We let our daughter play with whoever she wanted to play with and, within reason, we let her fight her own fights. Of course we teach her that fighting is not a socially good way to solve personal issues but we never tell her that she can't defend herself. At age thirdteen she is just as happy to play football in the mud as she is to go shopping at the mall. But more importantly, she has the will to stand up for herself and the a good sense of when to make a stand and when not to make a stand, be it in regard to other kids, teachers, her parents, etc. Treating her as an equal is not optional amoung her friends regardless of gender.

By the way, I love your name. My daughter's name is Shileah Augustina Elisabeth Pleasant. Her name was originally longer but her mother, who didn't even have a middle name, made me cut it down to a "manageable" size. I am sure some of my female ancestors will refuse to speak to me in the after-life for my lack of respect.

Thank you, my name goes on for ages!

Your daughter's name is lovely as well. I'm glad to hear that you're raising her to be a well balanced young lady.

[Ignatios]

I am new here, but I am going to step out on a limb and give my 2 cents.

Several of us in the local group have discussed just this several times. We have formed the opinion that persons male or female who have not had any contact with contact sports. Water Polo, Football, Field Hockey, Soccer, to name a few tend to have this "agression" issue. It's not a "plumbing" issue in our minds because we have seen it from both genders.

Anyway just my 2 cents. Sorry for sticking my beak in.

Iggy

[Nigel Plum]

At Schola Gladiatoria we use a drill borrowed from modern combatives. You will need a large kick pad & a half brick wrapped in loads of gaffer tape.

Someone holds the pad at one end of the salle while the rest of the class forms a queue. The person at the front of the queue takes the brick & runs down the hall yelling & hits the mat three times as hard as they can - no skill, just agression. They then run back to the end of the queue throwing the brick to the next in line on the way past. Continue for about five minutes.

We did this as a warm up at a BFHS event & got some very funny looks.

[Will Adamson]

That sounds like riot participant training.

[Nigel Plum]

Well we've got some other drills too

[Richard Strey]

Well we've got some other drills too

Please do tell. We have a training-camp for us little masochists coming up and I could need some more ideas to spice up the days. As if an hour cross-country running before breakfast, six hours of regular training plus theory plus circuit-training to warm-down wasn't enough.

[Jaron Bernstein]

Well we've got some other drills too

Please do tell. We have a training-camp for us little masochists coming up and I could need some more ideas to spice up the days. As if an hour cross-country running before breakfast, six hours of regular training plus theory plus circuit-training to warm-down wasn't enough.

How do you get the time for that? Full time training is for most the dream (someday I am going to retire and be able to do this art and pay my mortgage).

[Richard Strey]

Ah, a misunderstanding, I guess. It's going to be a weekend of full-time training, from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. Normally we train once a week plus whatever the people do at home.

[Jaron Bernstein]

Ah, a misunderstanding, I guess. It's going to be a weekend of full-time training, from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. Normally we train once a week plus whatever the people do at home.

My misunderstanding.

[Nigel Plum]

Well we've got some other drills too

Please do tell. We have a training-camp for us little masochists coming up and I could need some more ideas to spice up the days. As if an hour cross-country running before breakfast, six hours of regular training plus theory plus circuit-training to warm-down wasn't enough.

Sounds cool, most of our drills are the standard technique based ones. However one idea we have been playing with is setting up an "Animal day". This is aimed at creating the stress, & adreanal dumps of a real, unexpected, violent encounter & learning how to deal with them.

This might go along the following lines:

10 minutes of high intensity circits, followed by mental exersises - having to answer general knowlegde questions that are shouted at you This is then interupted by someone chucking a freezing cold water balloon at you, which is the signal for your two or more opponants to attack.

Much of this is based on this book:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Animal-Day-Pres ... &s=gateway

The main difference is that ours would involve swords (well shinai). It will be interesting to see how much technique & control is lost under those conditions

James Marwood is our real expert on this stuff, & will be able to explain better than myself. I'll see if I can get him to pop in.